How Can I Carry All This?

by Ellen Nieslanik, January 5, 2022

There he is again, my truest heart ♥️

Like a ray of sunshine

At my bluest blue

On my darkest day

With reciprocity we unpack each other’s pain

We find laughter, love, hope, faith and yes

How can I carry all this?

We follow our dreams

From this job to that

We finish sentences for each other

Exhale when the other inhales

It will always be okay, together.

Marriage, jobs, adventures and struggles.

A beautiful baby girl; are we enough?

Our hearts grow two sizes and yes.

How can I carry all this?

Then come 2 more boys, ranches and joys

Life seems a marathon without a pace

Endorphins kick in.

Football & basketball practice, piano, 4-H and track.

Over and under, living the dream

All three safe and under our roof

We are submerged in our life, in our chaotic bliss and yes

How can I carry all this?

My body falters

I fight and resist with might.

First one, then two and then three

We proudly send each on their way.

Hearts ache

Our hollow and empty house

Yet three kind hearts, good souls join the world, and yes

How can I carry all this?

Then we wonder where life takes our three

Will they find love, companionship, happiness?

A child marries, chooses a partner

Her soul mate, and true heart of hearts ♥️

The family grows.

More to come so much to look forward to

They are all just fine and yes

How can I carry all this?

Now he’s here again, with the rest of them

Truest of my true hearts ♥️ ️

They nurture my anguished body and soul

I’m able to find resolve and peace

No disdain for things taken, only gratitude for what remains.

LOVE, HOPE AND FAITH prevail and yes

How can I carry all this?

Only because of you my truest of true hearts.

♥️ ♥️ ♥️ ♥️ ♥️ ♥️