Mindspace Matters
“The Hell you say,” he chibed with a twinkle in his eye. He smiled and stepped into my personal space, tipped his weathered Stetson back, crouched to my level and squinted his eyes intently listening to the words that flowed from my lips. It was as though the rotation of the earth and his next breath hinged on my every word.
This is one of my earliest memories of Uncle Mike, and I couldn’t have been more than 4 or 5 at the time. Though I can’t recall the content of our conversation, I do remember how it made me feel every time I interacted with Uncle Mike. I felt important in having his undivided attention and believed that nothing else in the world mattered more at that moment than the conversation we shared. His gift of being present in the moment and making the mindspace for individual interactions is a lesson that has transcended so many aspects of my life, and most recently working with people and training their dogs. Who knew, Uncle Mike taught me something about training dogs?
Case in point, recently I was speaking to a friend about a behavioral issue she was having with her new rescue dog, and her response was,“I just need to make that dog mind.” While I appreciate her wanting to restore order to her home, I couldn’t be a greater polar opposite on how to approach the problem. Sometimes if we are lucky enough to have an easy dog, we transfer that expectation to all dogs that come into our home.
The first step with any dog is to build a relationship, a mutual relationship based on trust and respect. Take some time, create the mindspace to watch, interact and listen — really listen, tip your hat back, squint your eyes and make your dog feel as though the world rotates on his axis. The bond will start to form and your dog be excited to listen and respond, and you may learn why certain things are harder for your dog to handle. As in all healthy relationships it’s a “two way street.” Granted, rescue dogs are particularly difficult because there is so much of their history we don’t know, but this shouldn’t get in the way of a new friendship particularly if it’s built on trust and respect. Dogs are one of God’s creatures who have perfected the skill of “living in the moment” which is why things can change so quickly if you too are present in the moment.
Just as you wouldn’t teach your teenager to drive while texting on your phone, or drop your child at the river to learn to swim without supervision, you shouldn’t attempt training your dog while distracted. If you can’t make the mindspace for the task at hand it’s better to leave the task until you do. Going to the dog park with the good intention of socializing your dog, but spending the whole time on your phone has the potential to go pear shaped on you in a hurry. Your dog not only senses your distraction, but you miss the point of going. You don’t learn how your dog interacts with others nor are you tuned in to prevent a problem from escalating. It’s a missed opportunity on so many levels.
The next time you find your training or relationship with your dog getting stale, create mindspace for an engaged relationship. I learned it really does matter from the master of mindspace. Thanks Uncle Mike.
